"Better scoot out on my thigh jets." Let's do a thought exercise: Stare at a blank sheet of paper and then read that opening line out loud to yourself. Now do it again. And Again. Continue doing this for 20-30 seconds; if you performed this correctly then you'll notice you're losing your mind.

And we did too. Daniel Brown, Norm de Plume, and Special Guest Matt Moseley set out to answer a lot of the hard questions. No joke: We normally do two issues in one podcast, but NFL Super Pro #5 was so dense with absurdity that we ended up doing just one issue. However, mid-podcast we decide that the dialogue was too good not to do the entire issue as a radio play.

If you like football puns then you should probably not be permitted to operate a motor vehicle, but don't let our judgement stop you from enjoying this very special episode of Comics Talk Comics.

We know what you're thinking: "What if Tim Tebow became Robocop?"

Well, Fabien Nicieza thought the same thing in 1991, which basically makes him the Nostradamus of comic books. Daniel Brown, Norm de Plume, and Special Guest Matt Moseley explore the implications of a landscape where there are sentient NFL robots, the technology used to put a stadium inside a penthouse, and why Philly fans may be the greatest antagonists in comic book history.

Feel free to follow us on our twitter at comstalkcomics. I'm pretty sure whatever twitter information Daniel gives at the end of the episode is just a BUNCH OF LIES! Also, "wrong twitter tag" might become a running theme for the next 2-3 episodes.

"There are bad things. There are bad things in the world. Many bad things. There are some things that are worse than those bad things. But this is the worst thing." - Norm de Plume

Well, we finally did it. We've been having a good time enjoying NFL comic books and the beautifully-rendered art of Billy Ray Cyrus' masculinity.

And then this happened. Joining us as a special guest is Sid Kuhn (and special guest Matt Moseley).

Daniel Brown frequently mentions Spiderman's One More Day and Brand New Day as the worst comics of all time, but then WWE Superstars decides to crash the party, kick his dog, eat his food, drink his beer, and throw up in his bed.

Also, Norm de Plume, who has no familiarity with wrestling, is taught by a room full of people (who are paying for both the WWE Network and their sins by reading this) how to fight without hurting the other person. Actually, if you don't know anything about wrestling you will learn the following during this podcast:

(1) Kayfabe

(2) How to do the People's Elbow

(3) How to do a proper choke slam

(4) CM Punk's real name

(5) The purpose of a Singapore cain/bamboo stick/wooden sword

(6) Daniel Bryan

(7) How John Cena sounds to Brent, who has never heard John Cena talk

(8) Why Randy Orton does that pose at the end of matches

(9) AND MUCH MORE!

This comic is so bad it must be treated like poetry, so let's end with what we started.

"This is the worst thing."

The front cover is Billy Ray Cyrus, a heavily-armored knight, and a Native American. If you need any more convincing that this is the most interesting thing that's going to happen during your week then I'm sorry you have better things to do, Tara Reid.

However, the rest of you will have your brains rocked.

Listen as Daniel Brown, Norm De Plume, and Special Guest Matt Moseley talk about the time travelling adventures of Papa Miley Cyrus. At some point in this comic there is as follows:

1. Time Travel
2. History lessons from BRC
3. A princess named HuncaMunca
4. A PR manager named Lotta Flack
5. An Islamic wizard
6. THREE, read em', THREE songs

Oh, and no embelishment: The greatest ending to a comic book, ever.

Have you ever read a comic book where a NCAA linebacker gets injured, gets super powers and ends up fighting a NCAA safety that didn't make it to the NFL, became a ninja, and then went on a killing spree?

Because we did for you.

Norm and Daniel try to get to the bottom of a complicated question: Is the SuperPro series good or awesome?

This podcast uses the term "Robocop Tim Tebow" several times.

You know you want to know why.

Join us as we discover the (616) world of NFL Super Pro. His strength in his fight against chemicals? Chemicals. His weakness? Leg injuries.

At some point in the podcast we figure out what's needed to make The Hulk serum. One of the ingredients is "game day tape."

You know you want to know why.

Fabien Nicieza, creator of Deadpool (and many more fantastic comics), wrote this comic book just so he could have season tickets to NFL games. It's incredible.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY.